Top Funny Quotes
I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.
Eddie Murphy
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov
Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.
Matt Groening
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print
Pickup Lines
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
All Funny Quotes
Every milieu has something ridiculous about it - film-making, the music world, painting - because people who take themselves seriously become funny pretty quickly.
Rebecca Miller 
62% of people like this quote
Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.
Bob Saget 
62% of people like this quote
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
William Arthur Ward 
61% of people like this quote
But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick.
Kristen Johnston 
61% of people like this quote
The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.
Kevin Sorbo 
61% of people like this quote
I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short 
61% of people like this quote
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
Billy Wilder 
61% of people like this quote
Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at itself.
Neve Campbell 
61% of people like this quote
It's funny, as you live through something you're not aware of it.
Maya Lin 
61% of people like this quote
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.
Sheryl Crow 
61% of people like this quote
Popular Funny Authors
George Bernard ShawGilbert K. ChestertonDoug CouplandWill RogersGeorge OrwellGertrude SteinRobert FrostW. Somerset MaughamErnest HemingwayMae WestWoody AllenAdlai E. StevensonJim CarreyLenny KravitzHedy Lamarr
Susan SontagMitch HedbergPickup LinesMargaret ThatcherOrlando BloomMaya LinDavid OgilvyCraig BruceParis HiltonJimi HendrixTheodore BikelTodd BarryCasey StengelWilliam FeatherBill Gates
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