“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”
Other Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield 
91% of people like this quote
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
87% of people like this quote
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
86% of people like this quote
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
73% of people like this quote
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
68% of people like this quote