“If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
Other Johnny Carson Quotes
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson 
76% of people like this quote
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
75% of people like this quote
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
Johnny Carson
69% of people like this quote
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Johnny Carson
58% of people like this quote
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
58% of people like this quote