“Being ill like this combines shock - this time I will die - with a pain and agony that are unfamiliar, that wrench me out of myself.”
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God is an immensity, while this disease, this death, which is in me, this small, tightly defined pedestrian event, is merely and perfectly real, without miracle - or instruction.
Harold Brodkey 
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This identity, this mind, this particular cast of speech, is nearly over.
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Being ill like this combines shock - this time I will die - with a pain and agony that are unfamiliar, that wrench me out of myself.
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Death and I are head to head in a total collision, pure and mutual distaste.
Harold Brodkey
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