“Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.”
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald 
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So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.
Art Buchwald
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Art Buchwald
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