Misc
Quotes
"Money
can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with..."
"Friends help you move. Real friends
help you move bodies."
"You
know that the outhouse is in the right place if it seems too close
in summer and too far in winter."
"When you are in it up to your ears,
keep your mouth shut."
"If
you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one."
"You have a right to your opinions. I
just don't want to hear them." |
|
"If
you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius ?!"
"If the shortest distance between two points
is a line, why does waiting in a line take so long ?"
"I
will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead."
— Woody Allen.
"Practice safe eating — always use condiments."
"Ingredients
as fresh as they were 27 years ago." — Slogan of the Biscuitville
restaurant.
"Shrimp with assroted vegetables." —
Typo on a Chinese restaurant menu.
"What
happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten ?"
"If you want to look young and thin, hang
around old fat people." — Jim Eason.
"Never
eat more than you can lift." — Miss Piggy.
"One of life's mysteries is how a 1kg box
of candy can make a woman gain 2kg."
"It's
important to watch what you eat. Otherwise, how are you going to get
it into your mouth ?" — Matt Diamond.
"Those who cast the votes decide nothing;
those who count the votes decide everything." -- Joseph Stalin
"To
love someone is to see him as God intended him" --Fydor Dostoyevsky
Two
words that guys hate...don’t & stop...unless you put them together
Being
pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct
one. - Andy Bodine
"Love
is like a war, easy to begin, hard to end"
"I
like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down to us. Pigs treat us as
equals." -Winston Churchill
"Sometimes
your the dog, sometimes your the hydrant"
>>more
misc quotes
