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Random Comedian Quotes
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
A writer is like a bean plant - he has his little day, and then gets stringy.
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My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
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I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
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