GoodQuotes.com

Authors: A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

Random Comedian Quotes

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

Mitch Hedberg

A writer is like a bean plant - he has his little day, and then gets stringy.

E. B. White

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Les Dawson

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

Kevin Nealon

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

George Burns

Random Comedian Authors

More authors »

Comedian Authors

Josh Billings 82 quotes

Lewis Black 2 quotes

Elayne Boosler 11 quotes

Wayne Brady 3 quotes

Jo Brand 26 quotes

Russell Brand 6 quotes

Rory Bremner 20 quotes

David Brenner 7 quotes

Fanny Brice 8 quotes

Mel Brooks 21 quotes