All Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
53% of people like this quote
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
53% of people like this quote
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
52% of people like this quote
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
52% of people like this quote
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
52% of people like this quote
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield
50% of people like this quote
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Rodney Dangerfield
50% of people like this quote
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
50% of people like this quote
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield in
Funny
49% of people like this quote
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
48% of people like this quote
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
48% of people like this quote
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
43% of people like this quote
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