All Johnny Carson Quotes
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
76% of people like this quote
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
75% of people like this quote
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
Johnny Carson
69% of people like this quote
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Johnny Carson
59% of people like this quote
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
58% of people like this quote
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
58% of people like this quote
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
56% of people like this quote
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Johnny Carson
56% of people like this quote
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
55% of people like this quote
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson
55% of people like this quote
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Johnny Carson
55% of people like this quote
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Johnny Carson
54% of people like this quote
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
52% of people like this quote
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