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All Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
50% of people like this quote
I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy
50% of people like this quote
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
50% of people like this quote
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
49% of people like this quote
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
48% of people like this quote
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Foxworthy
48% of people like this quote
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
48% of people like this quote
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.
Jeff Foxworthy
47% of people like this quote
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Jeff Foxworthy
46% of people like this quote
Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy
46% of people like this quote
I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Jeff Foxworthy
45% of people like this quote
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Jeff Foxworthy
45% of people like this quote
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
45% of people like this quote
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
44% of people like this quote
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