All Jay London Quotes
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London in
Funny
70% of people like this quote
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
Jay London
68% of people like this quote
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
Jay London
64% of people like this quote
I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
Jay London
59% of people like this quote
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
Jay London
59% of people like this quote
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
Jay London
58% of people like this quote
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
Jay London
57% of people like this quote
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
Jay London
57% of people like this quote
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
Jay London
56% of people like this quote
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
Jay London
55% of people like this quote
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
Jay London
55% of people like this quote
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London in
Funny
55% of people like this quote
Related authors