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All Garrison Keillor Quotes
Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
Garrison Keillor
44% of people like this quote
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Garrison Keillor
44% of people like this quote
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
42% of people like this quote
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
Garrison Keillor
41% of people like this quote
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor
39% of people like this quote
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor
37% of people like this quote
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
36% of people like this quote
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
Garrison Keillor
35% of people like this quote
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