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All Garrison Keillor Quotes
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor in
Forgiveness
70% of people like this quote
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor in
Life
65% of people like this quote
The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles.
Garrison Keillor
55% of people like this quote
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor
52% of people like this quote
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
52% of people like this quote
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor
51% of people like this quote
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor
51% of people like this quote
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
Garrison Keillor
50% of people like this quote
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor
48% of people like this quote
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
Garrison Keillor
48% of people like this quote
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
Garrison Keillor
47% of people like this quote
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
47% of people like this quote
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
46% of people like this quote
A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
Garrison Keillor
45% of people like this quote
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