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All Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
Fran Lebowitz
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz in
Art
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz
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