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All Erma Bombeck Quotes
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Erma Bombeck
48% of people like this quote
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
47% of people like this quote
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
47% of people like this quote
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
47% of people like this quote
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
46% of people like this quote
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck
45% of people like this quote
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
45% of people like this quote
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
44% of people like this quote
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