Author details
All Dennis Miller Quotes
It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
Dennis Miller
48% of people like this quote
The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
Dennis Miller
47% of people like this quote
Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
Dennis Miller
47% of people like this quote
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
Dennis Miller
46% of people like this quote
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
46% of people like this quote
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
46% of people like this quote
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
45% of people like this quote
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
44% of people like this quote
Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
Dennis Miller
42% of people like this quote
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
Dennis Miller
42% of people like this quote
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Dennis Miller
40% of people like this quote
Related authors