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All Dave Barry Quotes
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
Dave Barry
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If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry
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There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
Dave Barry
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In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
Dave Barry
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It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Dave Barry
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
Dave Barry
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The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
Dave Barry
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Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.
Dave Barry
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It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
Dave Barry
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The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Dave Barry
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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry in
Golf
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Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
Dave Barry
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The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
Dave Barry
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
Dave Barry
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Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
Dave Barry
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