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All Dave Barry Quotes
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
Dave Barry
51% of people like this quote
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
51% of people like this quote
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
51% of people like this quote
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry
51% of people like this quote
Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.
Dave Barry
50% of people like this quote
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
Dave Barry
50% of people like this quote
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
Dave Barry
50% of people like this quote
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Dave Barry
49% of people like this quote
If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
Dave Barry
49% of people like this quote
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
Dave Barry
48% of people like this quote
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Dave Barry
48% of people like this quote
In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
Dave Barry
48% of people like this quote
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry
47% of people like this quote
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry
47% of people like this quote
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