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All Dave Barry Quotes
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Dave Barry
57% of people like this quote
Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
Dave Barry
57% of people like this quote
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
Dave Barry
56% of people like this quote
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Dave Barry
56% of people like this quote
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry
56% of people like this quote
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry
56% of people like this quote
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry
56% of people like this quote
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
Dave Barry
55% of people like this quote
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry
54% of people like this quote
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