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All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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Time
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Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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Nature
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Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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Art
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Marriage
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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Marriage
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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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